don’t pull out

I actually heard myself say it, say these very words, don’t pull out.

I think I spoke it in my head first, it just appeared there, like the first star in the sky as an evening darkens; there it was, flickering, inviting. Then I felt my lips move, form the words, these words, don’t pull out. I’d never said it before, not out loud, not to anyone and of course not to a man before. He was 10 years older than me but this was no longer unusual for me to be attracted mostly to those older than I was. It was also intelligence, I wouldn’t just go for anyone, they also had to have a brain, to be interesting and not just eye-candy.

Then they came out, in a whisper, don’t pull out. This wasn’t my first sexual experience, previously having been with other girls and one or two men though not that many at this point, I was still inexperienced but I knew enough and of course knew full well what a man’s orgasm involved even though up until then I’d only ever felt them wearing protection.

Don’t pull out, I think I said it twice, the second time not much louder than the first. I sounded breathy, perhaps I was trying to be seductive though that wasn’t necessarily on my mind and clearly I no longer needed to seduce a man who was already inside me having stripped me naked along with himself during the hour before which happily for me involved an awful lot of foreplay. It was this foreplay that had scrambled my brains so intense it was having made me cum twice already I was almost a quivering wreck but nevertheless ready and very willing for more. I simply listened to my body; it wanted more and convinced my mind of such, which in all honesty didn’t need that much convincing.

We had been fucking for a while now and I’d already sensed him hold back, edge, slow down, taking deep breaths, composing himself so as not to cum too soon. He managed it very well. I was most impressed and very pleased because I wasn’t yet ready either for yet another orgasm myself, although I was close several times.

I felt our sweat, our sticky bodies by now slapping against each other, his palms smearing over my body, my breasts, my neck. How much longer could either of us last like this, teetering. He apologised for not having brought any condoms and I didn’t have any either even though I had got into the habit of carrying a couple just in case such a moment like this happened and whoever it was didn’t have any. Also good to be prepared, but this time neither of managed to be. We agreed we could still enjoy it without actual penetration, hence why our foreplay lasted so long, that is until while rubbing his beautiful erection against my naked sex, both me and him already wet in our ways, the tip of his cock slipped inside me and I gasped.

He apologised and immediately pulled it out, that is until again I heard myself say it was fine, that he could, I didn’t mind, in fact I wanted him in me, right now, I wanted him inside me. He asked if I was sure while holding the tip against my folds which I felt now quivering with anticipation.

I was sure.

Yes, I was yes, I was very sure. He said he promised to pull out before he came to which I just nodded, and in I felt him slide, at first a little then again and more, then again and a little more, I felt my sex opening, welcoming, stretching, tightening too but mostly relaxing enough to let his slick thickened girth enter me naked.

It felt so good, so much better than a condom. It was probably wrong even though I was on the pill anyway, but I felt yes, I wanted to feel bare skin, his, inside my body as he fucked me this time. I so wanted it.

I felt his girth, his length as though it was growing longer and thicker, instead he was only going deeper. This felt so much better than the artificiality of latex. I couldn’t feel the veins as such though I recall he was very veiny when fully erect, not unless I really focused and at that moment focus was tricky as I was simply going with the rawness of the moment. I felt how I opened up and then pressure inside, like being gently sucked inside out, but not. It was extremely pleasurable, almost excruciatingly so that I felt dizzy. It felt like my nerve endings had grown fingers and were desperately dragging him into me. There was additional warmth, the conjoining of two hot bodies, like planets colliding in space super-heating, though of course not quite that hot.

For a moment it felt like my entire hips were filled with a foreign body, and I was, his body, his erection. I know there are parts of me inside that aren’t so sensitive, for obvious reasons, if they were it would be sensory overload to the point of pain, though that has happened before with a man who was bigger than normal, that was painful but in itself an amazing experience I wouldn’t have missed for the world.

But this wasn’t him, this was someone else and all my attention was on him, on him and him now being inside my hips bare, natural, seeping precum and me adjusting my hips to accommodate and to let him in. I let him in as he was and wanted too.

Once most of him was in he stopped, held himself just where he was looking down on me, me looking up at him, our eyes locked as he raised up my knees and I felt another inch of him slip in. I gasped again and gripped his buttocks as we started properly fucking, his hips slow, deliberate, practised, moving me up and down the rug, such a soft rug. My whole body was now his to use, as in a sense his was for me, but it was me who felt myself utterly surrender, perhaps it was now for the first time no condom that did it, made me feel so free and alive this time.

Each thrust made me give way some more, made my breasts shudder, my limbs grip him, we were both holding on not just to each other but something more profound, more embedded in the rawness of nature.

His pace quickened and slowed, I was again impressed by his resilience and being able to stop himself from coming. I couldn’t say the same for me as after what felt like an age, forever but not, I had yet another orgasm, the first I’d felt with a guy inside me like this, naked, bare, it was intense, it did make me wince and struggle not to push him out by accident. He slowed and let my tremors subside then started again, even more excited and as I regained some balance I wanted him too, to go even harder, to go even deeper even though that physically wasn’t possible. I heard myself saying yes, god yes, crazy things which seemed absurd but I couldn’t help myself. He didn’t seem to mind and took it as encouragement as I felt his body adjust and my knees bent higher.

I have no idea how much time went by with us both like this, locked in this carnal embrace, before I knew he was close, very close. His breathing struggling, like he was having a heart attack, he was having trouble slowing down, so much so he no longer bothered and just got faster making his thighs slap noisily against mine.

He confessed he was close, too close now and that he’d pull out. But I held onto his hips, tight. He said again he wasn’t going to be able to hold back. I held tight, looked him in the eye and that’s when my inside voice became my outside voice, don’t pull out. He smiled and was about to object in a gentlemanly way, which I appreciated but I repeated, don’t pull out, I’m on the pill, don’t pull out, don’t. He smiled and instead of retreating he held me down and his hips started to tighten as mine did too, we braced against each other, both of us audibly aroused beyond return. I was beyond excited, I was electrified, I knew what was going to happen, I wanted it too, wanted to feel it, wanted to have it, have it inside me, feel it fully for the first time. What would it be like?

The seconds squandered themselves as we paid them no heed, we were too focused now and he still wanted to hold off as long as he could but then I felt contractions, not mine this time but his, then something like a pumping and then an warmth, a soft warmth if it’s possible to describe such a thing as such, and more pumping, more contractions. My sex began to also contract and tighten around him as though a reflex to ensure I got it all, his hips had stopped moving but inside me was a flow of semen, sticky, free-flowing, leaving him and entering me, a tiny flood. I thought I felt his balls throbbing against my perineum. I arched as this moment made me cum also again for the last time that night, at which my whole body shook uncontrollably while his hips started up again, albeit slowly as though to ensure all of his cum was well and truly spent. I was sure it was, spent inside me.

The warmth lingered, it was wonderful; it was addictive and thought, I don’t want it to stop – don’t pull out. We lay there, his arms barely holding him up now and my legs having collapsed either side of him. I looked at him and him at me, I bit my lip as though I’d just done something naughty, and in a sense I had; we had.

Don’t pull out, and he didn’t. I know it’s not for everyone but for me it is absolutely, it opened up so much for me and since then I’ve never looked back, except fondly.

© Emmaleela