an act of faith

Sex is an act of faith. It’s filled with hope and with anticipation that it’ll turn out to be as good as you expect it will, or should be.

Our expectations are sculpted from many sources, such as past experiences, friend’s experiences too, from fantasising, dreams maybe too, what we’ve read in books or seen on TV, even overheard during moments of eavesdropping, all conspiring to manipulate our imagination and our most personal and intimate desires. The want almost always far exceeds reality, sometimes to the point of being that we just can’t help but idealise sex to the point of potential disappointment.

The opposite can also be true though too, far from disappointment, in fact exceeding all expectations; dream can come true, for certain, but don’t expect that every time. It’s hard to be realistic when it comes to sex, and sometimes why should we be, once we’re sufficiently aroused our brains seem to flip a switch inside us down the path of sexual satisfaction, sometimes whatever the cost.

That’s nature for you, raw in tooth and claw and so strong an instinct as to push, push, push, so much so that for some of us it’s all in and all the way, while for others it’s much more tentative, half-measures, restrained, rigid, some hold back just that little too much. Either way, for many it’s obscured in the mists of passion, of lust, and whole panoply of primal urges, depending on the degree to which you drawn beyond that point of no return. It’s especially so for us who seem to be a slightly more than normal addicted to sex.

When it all comes down to it, it’s an act of faith, sex, taking your ego, your id, your self-image, the whole you into uncontrolled, unpredictable and who knows what unchartered waters; caution to the wind, sometimes against our initial better judgement, something which seems to make it even more attractive, desirable and undeniable. It’s like food, when you’re hungry you just have to eat.

It’s there for everyone and yet not everyone has access to it, and very few have ready, regular or easy opportunity. It can be fun, frivolous, a chore, frightening, thrilling, painful, exhilarating, mind-blowing, quick, long, overwhelming, spontaneous, bizarre, familiar, unfamiliar, overhyped, undercooked, stratospheric.

At the end of a day when you’re hormones are running raggedly rampant it’s down to that act of faith, that leap in the dark; unless of course you leave the lights on, and we are inextricably drawn to faith, one way or another. It’s good to be able to choose, and sometimes, sometimes it’s even better to be surprised.

But, you know, I don’t mind if you disagree.

© Emmaleela